Under The Turban
by Ellabel
Summary: Yotogi. The nickname means Watcher. What his real name is, he's kept to himself, as he himself has kept to the shadows. But a friend in need is a friend indeed, and when Bierrez is in need, Yotogi is there to make the ultimate sacrifice.
1. He needs me

__

I watch him. Whenever he is not looking, my eyes are on him. Occasionally he has caught me watching him. When that happens, he sneers, or crosses his eyes. I do not think he understands how I feel. He must think I am obsessed with him, but it is more than that. I do not love him -yet-, though he is beautiful. The most beautiful youkai in Nadil's army, including Nadil himself. And he is just a child. He has such potential, such power. Does he realize it? His power is caged, like some dangerous beast, and he is only now learning to control it. But it is when he is not paying attention to it that it is strongest. And it is for this that I watch him. 

"Yotogi, you're staring at me again. What is it? Do I have something on my face? Some blood, perhaps?"

__

Yotogi, he calls me. Watcher. I never really thought about it before- he's called me that for a while now. Perhaps my watching him has been more obvious than I thought. 

"No, Viaresu. No blood. Your last kill was too neat and efficient to splatter you, although the way you waved your sword around, you could have injured yourself."

"What would you do if I hurt myself?"

__

What would I do if… How can he ask that? What would I… What would I? I haven't thought of this before. Just one more thing to worry about. Thanks, Viaresu. Oh- I'm staring at him again. I'll pretend I was checking out my arm. Yes, still works. As it has every time I check it. My arm- it is what got me into Nadil's army in the first place, and what keeps me alive. This arm has won me many fights and battles. Yes, I used to be a mighty warrior. But lately all I do is sit around and watch him. And stare at my arm. I know it annoys him. So I'll do it again.

"Yotogi, you're staring at your arm again! I swear, you like your arm more than you like me!"

"Viaresu, never say that! You know I…" _Oh, that went well. Smooth, Yotogi, smooth. _"… I value you highly." _Value… I guess you could call it that. I wish he wouldn't pout at me like that._

"You wouldn't care if I hurt myself. All you care about is your arm. You know it's true- don't deny it."

"Viaresu…"

"In fact, I bet if I died, you'd be happy! You could devote all your time to staring at your arm, instead of having it be a part-time job!"

"Viaresu! This arm means nothing to me! Nothing!" _Well, only the second most important thing in my life… but… that's beside the point. _

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, Viaresu. I would give up my arm for you if you wished it. Anything…" _Anything to make your eyes sparkle with happiness, to watch them change color as your power strengthens. Yes, you're more powerful when you're angry, but when you're happy… it's so rare. It's beautiful. Smile for me, Viaresu. Be happy. Grow strong. Grow strong enough to leave this place- Nadil's army is no place for you. _

"But, Yotogi, Shydeman tied your arm to your life source! He said if you tried to run away by removing your arm, you'd die!" 

__

Ehh… I'd forgotten about that. Yeah- Shydeman didn't want me running away with the arm that Nadil put his power in. And since the arm's useless without a body to attach to, he didn't want me running away without it, either. So he made it so the arm can't leave the castle without his express permission, and if I try to leave without the arm, I die. Nice, Shydeman. Thanks for reminding me, Viaresu. This has truly been a good day.

"Yotogi? I said you'd die!"

"Hm? Oh. Whatever makes you happy. I mean- " _Oh… this is really going well. Open mouth, insert foot. _

"What? Yotogi, I wouldn't be happy if you died."

"You wouldn't?" _Jeez… Do I sound as dumb to him as I sound to myself?_

"No, Yotogi-sama. Don't die. I want you to stay here with me." _He called me sama! He called me sama! He… he wants me to stay here with him? I would gladly give my life for him, and he's finally starting to realize it. Maybe. Or else he's making fun of me. Again._

"Yotogi-sama…" _What! … Bliss… In all the years I've known him, he has never thrown his arms around me like he did just now. And even though he almost immediately broke away and trotted down the hall, the feeling has stayed. I am needed… for the first time in my life, someone needs me. And it is my Viaresu, my beautiful demon child. This settles it. I am getting him out of this place if it costs me my life. Which it most likely will. _

__


	2. He protects me

__

I miss him. It has been a week since he left, and he is due home today. I cannot wait for him to return- life is meaningless for me here without him. I drift around, unseen and unseeing. And yet I keep remembering that moment, his warm, slender arms around me, his face uplifted as he told me that first time that he didn't want me to die. He left that day on an errand for Shydeman and though I know he is better off away from here, and I half hope he stays away, I think that I will kill myself if I am without him much longer. 

"Hey, Yotogi!" _Shydeman has adopted Viaresu's nickname for me. I wish he wouldn't use that- that is Viaresu's name for me, and Viaresu's alone._

"Yotogi, you still mooning around? I hope you aren't planning to go out after the kid, you know what'll happen!" _Ha. Very funny. Shydeman loves being funny. Has he noticed that nobody laughs with him except Shyrendora? Any minute now I'll hear her screechy laughter from behind me. Yep, there it goes._

"Leave me alone."

"What's that, Yotogi? You don't want to go find him? You're glad he's gone?"

"I am NOT."

"Then why don't you go find him, Yotogi?"

"Leave me alone!"

"Don't you love him anymore, Yotogi? Found someone else to stare at?"

"Leave me ALONE!" _Leave me alone leave me alone leave me ALONE! Next thing I know, that flaming moron Fedelta will be here to echo him. I have to get away before… too late._

"Yeah, Yotogi, you found someone else to stare at?"

"Yotogi, when Fedelta speaks to you, answer him." _No. Go on, hit me. … Did that make you feel better? I may be forced to be polite to you but… ow… never to that young cretin._

"Not so proud NOW, are you, Yotogi? Answer me!"

"Answer him!"

"Stare at me now, Yotogi- Viaresu's never coming back to you, so get used to it! Sta---- AUUGHH!"

__

Whatever he's doing, I wont fall for his trick. I wont look at him. I wont. I---

"Viaresu! Unhand him!" _Just a trick it's just a trick--_

"Shydeman, help me!"

"You murderous cretin." _I know that voice!_ _Is it really-- _"You think you're so clever, sucking up to Shydeman so that you rise through the ranks, while we that actually WORK for a living--"

"Viaresu! UNHAND HIM!"

"We that actually work for a living have to creep around in the shadows to avoid seeing your moronic face and hearing your whiny voice, you pitiful little halfwit firefly!" _Yes, that would be Viaresu! Viaresu!_

"VIARESU! You came home!"

"Of course I did, Yotogi-sama! Of course I did!" _Ooh, that musta hurt. Note to self- do NOT allow Viaresu to throw me at a wall. _

"Fedelta!" _That's right, Shydeman. Pick your baby up and go away… go away…_

"This is not the last you will hear of this, you two creepers!" _Whatever, just go, just go… thank you! Except… now I'm alone with him… hello, arm. Nice to see you again._

"Yotogi? Yotogi, are you alright? You shouldn't let them mess with you like that! Stand up for yourself!"

__

I do not stand up for myself because if I did they would kill me and then nobody would remember me. I prefer to just stand there and let them vent their anger on me because sooner or later they'll go away and leave me alone for a few months. 

"Yotogi, why wont you talk to me? It's not true what they said, is it? You do… still care for me, don't you?"

__

Don't look at him don't look-- argh, you fool! I'm caught now.

"Viaresu… No. It wasn't true." 

"I'm… I'm glad, Yotogi-sama." _Bliss…_

"Viaresu, I… have something to give you."

"Not your arm, I hope!"

"No, not my arm. This."

"Your bracelet? But you've always worn it! Why give it to me?"

"Because I want you to have something to remember me by if… when you leave or I die."

"Yotogi…"

"Please, Viaresu."

"I'll treasure it."


	3. He ignores me

"Attention, Youkai. This is of the utmost importance."

__

Shydeman really needs to change his hair, or something.

"Listen closely, and listen well."

__

He looks too much like Shyrendora. 

"Lord Nadil's plans have been set in motion."

__

One of these days, Fedelta's gonna see Shyrendora from behind and think it's Shydeman.

"The Dragonlord's woman has been successfully taken."

__

He'll start giving one of his special reports. Wont that be interesting for us all? 

"If all goes well, which of course it will, Lykouleon will come for her-- these Dragonclan types are bold. Bold and stupid."

__

Woah, Shyrendora's a dragon? Who knew?

"He'll walk right into the castle- right into a trap."

__

And just how many times has that worked before?

"And this is the important part. When Lord Nadil vanquishes Lykouleon, there will be a bit of… chaos. There may be damage to the castle."

__

No, I think the bit about Shyrendora was more important.

"You are to leave- assemble at that wizard's castle. None of you must remain. Only Shyrendora and myself will stay-- oh, and you, Yotogi, my friend." _That grin of his- I'd like to rip it off and---_

"Go now."

__

Gee, what a crowd these youkai make. I've already lost Viaresu. I hope he makes it out safely. And I hope… I hope he never comes back. Now, moving right along. Where is this little drama taking place? The throne room? I must live up to my nickname. There they are: Shydeman and Shyrendora are, of course, hiding in their usual corner, waiting to pounce on someone. And there on the throne-- is that the queen Nadil's holding? She's beautiful. My Viaresu deserves someone like that. I hope he finds her. Surely there's someone else left in this world as beautiful as that queen. Knowing Nadil, he'll probably be the one to find her. Maybe Viaresu will save her from the Lord's filthy hands. 

Nadil looks wild tonight. This battle will probably destroy the castle and the surrounding forest. I'm glad Viaresu is long gone.

"Yotogi?"

"AUUGH! What are you still doing here?"

"I wanted to stay with you."

"Viaresu, you should leave! It's dangerous!"

"Won't you be in danger too, then?" _Um…_

"It doesn't matter. Please go. I don't want the Dragonlord's blood to splatter on you."

"I like being splattered with blood."

"Not this blood, you wont. It's like pure light, they say. You'd die instantly if you touched it."

"Pure light? I bet that looks cool. I'm not afraid. I wanna see!"

"Go, foolish child. If Nadil doesn't win, I don't want you here to face Lykouleon after he finds the queen."

"Do you really think Lykouleon could beat Nadil?"

"Viaresu, he is very strong." _Not as strong as you, Viaresu…_

"Then, why is Nadil risking himself by fighting him?"

__

Uh… he's a moron, he's arrogant, he… "It's to help the youkai cause."

"How so?"

"We youkai would be much stronger if the Dragonlord's bloodline was destroyed."

"Uh huh. So why don't you kill him? He has no heir yet!"

__

You really do believe in me, don't you? You think I could defeat Lykouleon… this makes me feel… Ah, I'm staring again. Must look-- no, not the hand. That bothers him. I'm keeping my hand firmly tucked under my chin. There will be no hand-staring-at tonight. Oh look, a floor. … Answer the child, Yotogi, he's waiting. "Viaresu, we're still not strong enough to defeat him." _Stop pouting at me_. "Follow Shydeman's orders and go." _Don't roll your eyes, either. _"If Lord Nadil fights, the castle will fall."_ Don't sneer. It's not a sneering matter. Though you are gorgeous. I'm staring at my hand again, aren't I._

"I wanna see him bleed!"

__

You would.

"He means nothing to me!"

__

He should. "Forget it. Only Lord Nadil can fight his blood." _Look, there he is- Lykouleon. Viaresu needs to remove that bloodthirsty look from his face- if Shydeman sees…Man, look at that sword the Dragonlord has!_

"What took you so long?" _Ah, the ever-polite Lord Nadil._

"RASELEANE!" _Yes, that is her name, isn't it?_

"I'm sorry. I guess she doesn't recognize your voice." _So sorry…_

"Nadil!" _Oh, finally figured out who it was, did you? I give you a gold star. What is Viaresu whispering to me?_

"-na go get a closer look." 

"No, wai-" _Urg… I'm too slow. Couldn't catch him. Nadil is kicking dragon butt._

"Oh, by the way… once you're dead, I take over." _Heh, look at the look on the Dragonlord's face. _"I cast a spell on her. She'll never have your child. When you die, your bloodline dies with you." 

__

Gwah, Holy cow, where did those dog-demons come from? OH! That just barely missed Viaresu! He has good reflexes… in his time of danger, his power flared up- beautiful to see. But the column in front of him is cracked! I have to get to him! But if I move, they'll see me. Maybe if I crawl…

Lord Nadil is cursing the Dragonlord's blood. I bet Viaresu is thrilled. Yes, I can see his face now from where he's crouching cautiously behind the pillar.

"Great! I'll see his blood soon." _Hush, Viaresu, they'll hear you! You have to get away from there! I'm coming to you, just wait for me…Oh, Illuser sacrificed its life for the Dragonlord? How is that- OH! His head! The Dragonlord cut his head off! The stories are true! And now, Nadil is dead. The castle is a better place… Hah, Viaresu and I can escape now, go out and see the world! Look at Shydeman and Shyrendora. They fell out of their little corner when their precious Lord lost his head. Ha, the castle is falling apart. I hope nothing falls on Viaresu. Got to get over to him. AIEE! Lord Nadil! What the bloody heck!? He's… holding his head on?_

"Lykouleon. Did you think you could kill me just by cutting off my head? It was fun. See you around."

"MONSTER!" _Oh, that was original. _

"Shydeman, Shyrendora, ready to go?"

"Yes, my Lord!" _They have no right to look that happy. My world just came crashing down. Where's Via--_

"VIARESU! DON'T TOUCH THAT!" 

"HMPF! Ice Illuser's dead. The Dragonlord couldn't save an animal." _Don't touch that cloth, you… oh my Lord, he's flapping it! He's playing with me!_

"These guys must have touched his blood." _What is that light?_

__ __


	4. He loves me

"VIARESU!" _Too late! I am too late! He's dead, he's been killed, he's… he's alive! _"VIARESU!"

"Y…Yotogi-sama? My arm… it's gone…"

"I'm coming, Viaresu! Wait for me!" _Ick… ick… corpse… get out of my WAY! _"Viaresu, are you alright? What happened?" _He's going to die and it's all my fault. Somehow it's all my fault…_

"I… I don't know. Illuser… cut off my arm… my arm…"

"Someone possessed the body, Viaresu!" _Oh, my beautiful Viaresu… I don't know how to stop bleeding like this… it's too much. What am I going to do? _

"Yotogi-sama, what are we gonna do?" _This is Viaresu, who has never been unsure in his life. _"What's gonna happen to me?"

__

I know what I must do.

"Viaresu. Give me your dagger."

"What are you gonna do?"

"I'm going to give you an arm."

"Yotogi, _no!_"

"Viaresu, you've got your whole life ahead of you. I have no future. Live chained to this filthy castle for all eternity?" _Without you… _"No, thank you." _Finally, I can be free. I can do something for you, for a change. For the first time in my life, I can smile… I'm smiling. Thank you, Viaresu. Do you see what miracles you work? My life is no longer meaningless. _

"Yotogi--"

"Here. It's done." _No pain… I feel only relief. And joy. _"Take the arm, Viaresu. Please."

"Yotogi! What am I going to do?"

"Listen, Viaresu! Get out of here! Be loyal only to yourself. Shydeman and Nadil are unworthy of your trust. Go out into the world, and make a difference. Be strong. Don't look back." _Save yourself. Do what I could not._

"Yotogi, what'll I do without you?"

"Viaresu, as long as you remember me, I'll live on. You deserve better than this filthy place. Use my arm to do great deeds. Go."

"Yotogi, don't stop talking. What kind of great deeds?'

__

Everything's so dark now. I can't even see the filth. I can only see his face. He's staring at me now. Isn't it odd how our roles are reversed, here at the end? Him staring, and me not caring? Smile for me, Viaresu, please. 

"I don't know… Viaresu… be a hero. Vanquish enemies. Find some beautiful princess to save and fall in love with or something. Go down fighting." 

"Yotogi… I will never forgive the one who did this to us."

__

Smile, Viaresu. I want my last sight to be you smiling at me… 

"Yotogi-sama! I love you! Yotogi?"


	5. A parting in the mist

** AN** dedicated to ** Pam ** , who was, is, and always will be THE number one Viaresu fangirl (and about ½ of the reviews to this story). Couldn't have done it without you, Sweetheart. You are my inspiration. Yes, I did get your letter (after only about a year and a half of waiting)… did you get mine?

_The mist… golden like the sun of faraway places, the eyes of a tiger, of Viaresu… the mist has been my constant, and only, companion these many months… years? Days? Who knows? There is no Time here, there is only mist. Always golden, always moving, never parting. Until now._

I've waited for this moment all the time I've been here. I've floated in the mist, dreaming of the places I might be now. Distant places I could never have seen when alive, whole new worlds, even. Maybe I'm not in a place, maybe I'm existing in someone's memory. His _ memory. Who else would remember me? That would explain why my entire existence is this mist, this gilded haze surrounding me, swallowing me, becoming me._

But now I see the mist parting before me. I look down, down through the mist and the years and Death itself, eager for a glimpse of my new life…

The demon castle.

I swear.

Even in death I am chained to it, that cursed place that consumed my life. I had thought I might be free in death if nothing else, but I am not. Before I fall willingly into the roiling bitterness waiting to embrace me, I hear a voice. No. I remember a voice. "I love you," _ he'd said. I love you… that's why I'm here. Hugging myself in my mist, repeating his words through my tears, I fall towards the castle, realizing that no longer does demon magic bind me here. It's love. His love, and my love. That's what holds me here now._

And then I laugh, still through my tears. For I get one of my wishes, at least. I may not be free, but I can still watch him. That's all I have left now… I can watch him. At least I've had plenty of practice. There- the castle. Nadil's tower reaches me first. Curious, I stop by the window, then enter it. The lord is not there, but the room is not empty. She is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen, as beautiful as Viaresu himself. She looks like a doll, but I know she is not. I can see through that spell, and the spell changing her appearance. I see the real her, and I see that she is beautiful. And I know I must have her for my Viaresu. I know she is the woman for him.

Maybe it's the sudden clench of my heart at the thought of Viaresu loving someone else, but I seem to feel his presence. Viaresu… he is under the window. I see his hair, his hand. He's looking at his hand, the hand I gave to him. _ He's looking at it just as I did. I hear his thoughts… he remembers my wishes. He knows I wish him to be free of the castle, and he knows he has failed there- so far. I remember my other wish, for him to find a woman worthy of his love. There I can help him. Though I feel the mist start to take me again, and all I want to do is watch him, see him for what may be the last time, I turn from the window._

It is simple to walk to the doll and take hold of her. It is the hardest thing I have ever done in all my life, and my death, to carry her to the window. It takes all my strength, even my body. As I finally reach the window, I am mostly mist. With the last ounce of my power, and all the will of my love, I push the doll out into the air. My hand turns to mist as I push. I lean through the window to watch him find her, this last message of my love, but all is mist once more.

Now, I can bear this golden oblivion. I have had all my wishes granted. I know she will be the one to pull him from Nadil's grasp. I don't know how, but she will. And she will love him as I do. I am content. 


End file.
